I am lucky to have some wonderful people in my life. Every day I am thankful to be blessed to know them and share in life surrounded by them. This Valentine’s Day, I am celebrating the love that only a mother and daughter can share. A love I can now appreciate from both perspectives.
Whether you’re close with your own Mom or not, I hope this will help you reflect on the relationship you share with the person who brought you into the world and/ or raised you. The first part of this Valentine speaks to my past & present. Mum, if you’re reading this, this is for you…
For My Mother…
I want to start with two words you taught me from an early age, humble but valuable: Thank You. Thank you- not for selecting me based on a pre- conceived notion of what parenthood would be- but for accepting me for the miraculous combination of you and Dad that I am, presented to you on a December morning. For accepting me as I became the person I am today, and for being a monumental part in shaping her. For putting your needs and wants aside, for completely disregarding your previous intentions, and putting all that you were into raising and nurturing me. Because you wanted to do everything you could for me, even when it meant sacrifice for yourself.
Thank you for facing the challenge of being a parent with honesty. For offering yourself to me whole- heartedly when I needed you most, even if it meant facing a rebellious child who went against your words. For taking the time out of your life to listen and hear what I had to say, to be my saving grace when I could not seek comfort or advice from anyone else. Even if it hurt you to see me making mistakes- despite your warnings- you were there when I erred; from the silly blunders to the bigger challenges.
Thank you for channelling all that you loved so much about your own Mother into your efforts. For honouring her memory and allowing her to be a part of my life. I feel I know the Grandmother I never met because of you. She would be proud knowing you raised a daughter who loves her Mother as much as you loved her.
Mum- for all the craziness that I brought into your life, the sleepless nights, the harsh words thrown carelessly without thought or knowing the pain they caused, and for knowing but not truly appreciating all that you do, I am sorry. I never took you for granted, but love and appreciate you now more than I could before. As I start my own journey into Motherhood, I take comfort knowing I have you for guidance. I hope my daughter will one day appreciate me as I appreciate you.
As a woman and a Mother, you have shown strength and courage I hope I possess. I am so grateful for you. For all that you are and all that you do, thank you Mum, for being you. I love you.
And now, to someone who has changed my life in ways she will never understand and has taught me so much; more than she’ll ever know. The second part of this Valentine is for my present & future…
For My Daughter…
I always knew I wanted a family. Until I became pregnant, I didn’t realize or consider just how much becoming a Mother would change me. Suddenly everything I did was regarded with hesitation, consideration for the life that I was responsible for, even before you were born.
I hope I can be the best me possible for you. To accept my flaws and imperfections as an example to you. And to not expect perfection; in you as my child, or myself as a parent. I hope to help you realize your talents and strengths; to help you set goals and work towards them. To celebrate in your victories and acknowledge your efforts when you’re frustrated with the challenges life presents you.
I hope to raise as a person of integrity and strength. To nurture you so you will do the same for others, without the expectation of anything in return. I hope you will recognize your self worth and potential, as an individual, and as a woman. To help you see the best in people and situations; to help make this world a better place.
I hope to give you the unconditional love you deserve, even when you challenge me or hurt me through your actions or speech. Even when you cannot see why I say the things I say or do the things I do, know that it is out of love. I accept now that we will not always get along, that we will argue; I hope you will be able to and look back and laugh and acknowledge my purpose. I hope I can be the constant in your life that my Mother was and is for me. For you to know that I will be the one you can always turn to. I will share in your pain and make it my own; even if I cannot protect you from it, or take it away, I will stand beside you and help you be better, stronger for it. I hope to always help you see the positive.
I hope we will have fun together. That we will play and relish in the time we share and create beautiful memories that you will cherish. That you will be grateful to have me as your Mother, as I am for mine. And one day, I hope we can be friends. That we will sit down and appreciate each other as women and know the journeys we have behind us, and look forward to sharing those we have ahead. Until then, I accept that you may not understand everything that I do or my reasoning behind it. And I’ll take comfort knowing that one day you will appreciate that I did so for you, so that you could become the person you deserve to be. I am and will always be your Mother. I love you.
I hope you show someone how you feel about them this Valentine’s, regardless who they are in your life. Love is an important part of what makes us human and can be a source of strength when nothing else prevails. Show someone you love them today. <3
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