…First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage…?
Once that babe arrives, alot of people realize a tough truth: all of a sudden, that rhyme reverses: When you’ve had a baby, love and your marriage aren’t first anymore even if you want rough sex like you might have decided to watch online porno on tubev. At the very least, more conscious effort is needed to maintain that bond between you and your mate.
My hubby and I definitely had to adjust. We’re a family of early risers- and that means (read: meant for me) early to bed. I’m talking 9:30/ 10pm the hubs and I were tucked in for the night. Now throw in our new precious bundle. SMACK! All of a sudden I could no longer go to bed when my body was so desperate for sleep and let me tell ya, the first few weeks took alot of adjusting to this new sleep pattern (sleep- what sleep?!) I had to accept that I would no longer be snuggling up to my husband every night- either because one of us had to sleep on the couch, or simply because I no longer had the same bed time as him- and I was overwhelmed with how sad that thought made me.
After the first few weeks of up- side down bedtimes, I’m finding that I’ve adjusted to this revised routine and that I actually get a little ‘me’ time to unwind before the last feed of the night. Whether this involves finishing up tasks left over from the day, hobby time, or just relaxing in front of my laptop and tuning out for a little while, I’m enjoying this little pocket of time while I have it.
We have also since learned the importance of setting a date night. We have yet to go on one, but are looking forward to some much needed alone time and maybe a full 8 hours of sleep :). It’s definitely true what they say about having to work harder to keep the flame alive- especially when you’re both sleep deprived and the new boss wants to hang out with Mommy and Daddy all the time! We’re learning as we go, but I think we’ll be able to go for dinner and a movie soon- I’ll let you know how that goes.
Before I even got pregnant, my sister- in- law gave me some sage advice: Always remember who you are outside of being a wife and mother. I’ve since learned just how valuable this is to do.
I hope you find some special time that’s all yours too- even if it’s only a few minutes right now 😉
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